A Day b4 Bio Paper

I still remember what am i doing a day b4 Bio paper....
mwahaha....
regardless of the need to study,
my mom and I went watching "No regrets " 10 episode one shot...
haha... and we slept at 4 am...
lol, my 1st time sleeping so late 2gether wid my mom,
if me alone, of coz , many times already... haha

and then ,
when i need to study bio...
my eyes was like glued by a superglue or something stronger...
no matter how long the nap i took was, the same thing happened....
i was so worried... a few hours for 1++ chapter....
n then, the condition went better during the night , thank god...

anyway, i have no comment for the bio paper...

and now, its time to figure out my life after this....
decisions decisions and decisions !
which i hated... y can't it be like sec school where everything is already arranged nicely for you...

Nvm lar, we need to grow up... cannot rely on anybody everytime...
i und der... hehe

National Service...

lol, i no which place im in already,
it was kuala kubu bharu or something like that which is located in Ampang...
and i kept on convincing my mom not to worry about me...
everything is gonna be fine...
but it doesn't last long...
because i myself can't convince myself that everything is gonna be alright...
mind that im the only one in batch 1....
and im gonna face this all alone by myself...
leaving my hse for 3 months is already what i don't like most...
and i dunno how is it going to be...
what if nobody wanna be frenz wid me? what if it is a dangerous place...
then my neighbour come saying... now is the rainy season n sure gt many spirits come out ...~.~lol.....

i dunno larh...
then ? what will be my plan after national service?
Form 6 , A-levels or foundation in science ??
coz actually i haven't even choose which course to take after that ...
although i've been telling everyone im considering medics, but is this the course i really love? is this the course i would be interested in? i dunno....

and i just realise.... i wont meet the chinese boys anymore unless there is a gathering, lol... haha... now oni i know...except ann....
and then i realise , after chem paper, i wont hv a chance to meet non-bio frenz anymore, unless there r gatherings....
n after my last paper, im counting down for 2 more weeks to ns !

lol, actually im afraid.... afraid to leave home, afraid to be lonely....
argh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 Days of SPM

This is the 3rd day of my SPM already...
so fast....
Today was History...
OMG ! I still remember how i studied this few days...
Anyway, the Paper 1 was easy, and i only got 3 wrong,
which i can't believe it, but i put on effort, so .... yeah !
but soliheen gt all correct, which i dun even wanna care by now already because its not important to me anymore...
What i cared is how i scored only...
But the paper 2 was devastating....
so cruel....
all that came out is not what i read...
only 2 questions i really read proiperly, which i know that i still can't score full because i cant remember some of the points...
and others was only like a guessing game...
although i read that before , but it was days n weeks ago already....
the chapters which i really put on effort to study didn't come out...
and this was the ed of it already...
no matter how hard u did... it has come to an end,
which means the thing you studied so hard for nothing,
is uselesss already by now....

i really feel like banging my head to the wall !
damn stupid !
how am i gonna face my parents, my teachers , the ones that hv high hope on me ?!
hence, this was the thing that would happen if you did not study your text book
THOROUGHLY !

This is fate my dear, face the reality, u nv fall, u nv learn...
but i dun wanna fall, i promise i would learn,
pls dun make me fall....

Don't Ask !

Oh! u watch Asian Games in Guangzhou ?
u watch that badminton match yesterday among CW Lee n Lin Dan ?
OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I supported CW Lee coz ... we Malaysian kua...
i some more go bet with my father ... if he wins, he get to eat Hokkein mee, i belanja, but if im the one who win, im gonna hv dominoes . =.="
So, the conclusion was, he won . >.<

Oh ! and did u watch the Mens doubles between Indonesia n Malaysia?
That was so close !!!!!!!!!!!!
And so , this is what i have been doing these few nights ! haha....

Dont ask y am i still updating my blogs when tomorrow is gonna be my SPM.
I dunno, too much devils beside me?
haha... no la...
just me.... im the one !
so stupid...
then when i go in fb... omg ! so scary, none of the ppl i know is onlining !
gosh , this scene is so scary, haha !
anyway, hope my spm can go on succefully...
hope that i can hv great achievements...
oh, my grandma went back Johor already today...
so , my room is prepared to transform into a warzone !!
nwahaha....
since that when my grandma is here, im afraid that she would trip on tables n books and hence, i dont plan to bring a small table into my room to stack up the books i need to use...
but now... my room will be in a mess in no time...
hehe....
k la, toodles .

To : Fikri !

Oh Great,
at last i know what the hell is happening...
u will just totally regret what u had said to me...
yeah ! i make ur life miserable...
out of my stupid n naive thinking that out of so many things, i think u r actually ok n there is no harm to be frenz with u...

n then out of a sudden, when i just sms 4 fun commenting that u r so "belagak" today...
n i get scolded from u , which i think even my best friendz doesn't talk to me like that b4... and this is not the 1st time u do this to me !

and then after so many smses u said u don't mean to...

sometimes i feel very confused... i really dunno what shall i do, especially knowing what i shouldn't know... knowing what that should be a secret from the start...

so tiring...

imagine if i treated u the same way...

n u r rite, i din tok to u in school n its u who mostly start a conversation.
Sadly, yeah ! this is me ! all my ex`boyfriends mentioned to me the same thing... so what .this is me , acccept the fact... noted that we r frenz .

do u no that sometimes u can be a gd fren n sometimes u reli drive me crazy... each n every word i say also i must think twice, coz im afraid that u will really go n kill urself n whatsoever ! Y R U DOING THIS ! THIS IS UR BLOODY LIFE ! APPRECIATE LAR ! OTHERS WANNA LIVE ALSO CANNOT ! U PRAY TO GOD FOR TAKING UR LIFE! WTH WTH WTH !

and im so stupid to worry that if one day u die is it going to be my bloody fault? or maybe im just thinking that u r to weak to accept the bloody fact that you wouldn't accept ! i guess we all o what im mentioning here.

just say im evil or watever, im tired of facing all of this man !
well, i hope u read this. bye .

[Undisclosed Clip] 2AM

omg ! i watch this n i keep on laughing.... haha

movie movie

u no wat,
i just cried yesterday....
i feel so silly of crying....
y ?
becoz my cousins n reatves come to stay for 2 nites at my hse,
and so , my mom suggest to bring them for a movie,
and she came to my room to tell me that they are going out for a movie,
at the same time , im studying la....
then i just look at my sejarah ook w/o saying a word,
then she said since u wanna go then go la....
then i sat down n look at her,
i said i dun wanna go, i sked i wll regret....
n i cried....
wth !!! so stupid....
then she said nvm la, one movie oni mar....
lolx..... y ah?
haha....