Starting of MO - SHIP

 YAY ! Updates 

So, i got transferred back once again to HEBHK on July 2020, 

Continued my final days as HO in surgical, which at first I was really not used to it, because there is little patients only, and not much to do, not as busy as in HSAJB, but it's the familiarity of the wards and people and i felt so happy to work in HEBHK again, like we are used to the system, the way we present to specialist , every small thing that I'm grateful I'm here. Got a good team to work with as well, so as a senior, although the last week is like hell, every single day we have unstable patients collapsing, CPR CPR CPR, seriously, towards the end, my B/L anterior shin is full of bruises ! for when I CPR I climb up the bed, my shin will always be on the railing. Padan muka ! so short mah haha !

Then finally guess where I got for my MO-ship ? Paeds !

ya, who knows that in the end i will choose paeds haha ! But honestly, 2 years of housemanship, my happiest days are in Paeds =) so here we are ...

Working with my ex again in Surgical was seriously hard, I wanna keep it a friendly environment but everything he does i magnify them, every wrong thing, i just get irritated very easily. So, good thing it's only for 1+ months. 

Then you know , recently i met K in the shopping centre one day, with another woman, his previous crush. Funny feeling, upset and angry, angry of myself for caring, but out of no where, one day, this guy don't matter to me anymore. 

Lesson learned: just delete away all the toxic people in your life, they are not worth your time or feeling, you won't lose anything by deleting him. If you don't matter to him, why should he matter to you? Grow up. It's hard but one day when you look back, he's nothing. 

Next, ya, maybe dating is not for me at all. Maybe I'm suitable to like grow old and die alone. I don't know how to trust, to commit in relationships anymore. Colleagues that approach me in the hospital, I really don't mean to lead people onto anything, if you wanna be friends with me, I will be thrilled and welcome, but I cannot bring myself to commit to more than that. 

Previously I was sort of dating a guy that I knew from an app, (why did I use an app is because I'm lonely hahaha). Anyway, it wasn't bad ok,  we were happy at first, he was my type, and supportive, just a little clingy, he is a everything is well planned guy, and on the other hand, I'm more of a spontaneous person, I don't plan anything, I just follow the flow. So, when things got serious, I guess I'm not ready for it after all. So much for being an introvert, i think I'm just an extrovert under an introvert skin haha.

Working with people that approaches you previously is a little awkward, especially when he is your current boss now. When once u meant something, now you are just literally transparent. I don't blame you, really, I don't feel offended as well, I mean, I totally deserve it, but just feeling a little weird. Anyhow, work is work, I know that very well. 

In conclusion, I can't wait to leave this place for good. Things are good but maybe it's time to go home >.< to go back to my harbour. So tired standing alone outside ...