Happy Birthday bloggie !

I can't believe I had blogged since the age of 16 !
means this blog is 5 years old ady eh !!! haha !

And then when I read back what I had written this few years,
despite of all the memories flooding back, I kind of regret to not write every details of my life out...
I mean, there are sad moments which when I now look back, it seemed so funny,
There were all the drama moments with all my friends and family...

I missed those times =)

Anyway, I shall not do this again.
5 years from now, I'm going to read back all these and laugh at all the dramas I'm going through now
haha !

I wish I can put more attention on my studies =)
I wish I can do better this year, especially this system,
because I  think this is the most related system to my family lol
and I hope I could learn more in this system ...

I wish I can succesfully graduate from this course,
I wish I can be a successful doctor,
I don't have to be like super rich, I just hope that I could afford a comfortable life for my family.
I wish I could really help those patients ...

I hope time flies where I could go back to my own country.

Happy Birthday to me

This year's birthday felt different
well, not sure if this is the way to describe this but ,
I felt like I have gone to another phase in life (cheh~)
hahaha !

no, like... it's different from previous birthdays,
I mean, people who greet you and all, changed...
I missed last time, but i also enjoyed now
so.. i guess this is growing up =)

Well, thanks to everyone who greeted, wished or gave me presents,
thank to you guys who still had me in your mind after so long...
If not, I und that we all hv our busy lives going on ... ;) don't worry,
I'm sure you guys still miss me , hahaha !

every year, i actually anticipated for today to come because it's like an opportunity or chance to talk to people that eventually u stop talking to despite of how close u guys were last time...

even a short conversation is enough, to prove that, ya... this person is still in my life,
I had never lost you ...
especially you, i still hope i didn't lose you despite of the things we've been through but it seems impossible. I guess people can't be greedy =( 

But, to wrap things up,
thank God for what I've gotten today...

Thanks for this wonderful 21 years of life...

and I realise I couldn't do it ...
>.<

Don't blame me for being a bitch from now on

For two years I try to please you,
For two years I try to make everyone around me happy,
although sometimes I can be a little ignorant, but still, I try to make it up to you.

And yet, this is what I get...
You feel uncomfortable with my presence ?
You don't want me in an occasion where you were there ?

I'm writing this is not to remind myself how bad you are or to hold grudge
I'm writing this to remind myself no matter how much you give,
Sometimes you just can't expect people to treat you the same.

I learned my lesson.

I don't know how I will face you after this...
But at least I know I don't have to put such high hopes in our friendship.

Today will be the day our friendship died.
Today will be the day I won't put hope and effort anymore.

Thanks for letting me see this.

If one day you start complainng about my ignorance and my bitchi-ness,
please don't forget, you started it first.

why couldn't I meet that sort of people that makes me feel special all the time.
I feel so worthless right now

Updates : bf's family

hi...
finally have some time to blog...
not that I've been super busy or anything,
it's just that I'm always outside with either parents or friends.

So, yup, the trip to my boyfriend's house in N9...
we took the KTM to Seremban, then her sister fetch us from Seremban to his house.
I was there for 3 days 2 nights.

It was ok, her sisters were friendly, so was his father....
when I arrived there were so many durians and rambutans haha !
his dad opened a few durians for me and it was so filling >.<

oh ya, and I met both of his doggy, bi and bu, which are cute too...
and his dogs liked me hehe ...

erm, actually nothing much to talk about,
what I did in his house...
wake up, prepare lunch with his family, rest, prepare dinner with his family, dinner , mahjong then sleep.
and it repeats...
haha !

on the second day, his sister brought me to a nice chinese restaurant for dinner,
and there were so many seafoods and it was so kind of her..

well, really nothing much to talk about,
I shall say his family is really friendly =)
nice experience

Boyfriend vs family

Yeah. So before coming back to Malaysia , my boyfriend and I plan to like meet each others parents ..
No special reason la, just to know each other better ...
I personally really looking forward for this ...

But unfortunately, he will only be at his parents' house during the raya holidays ...
And coincidently, my grandmother's birthday falls on a day before raya.
And it is more impossible for me to leave my family on a public holiday. 
Call me mama's girl , whatever. I am !

Then im quite disappointed, I know he is too, I feel so useless and helpless right now. I really don't know how to make things better ...

Somebody please read this and teach me what to do
I desperately need suggestions right now =(

Sometimes I really wanna like rebel once a while, like do what your heart says...  but it is really impossible ... It's like your conscience kept reminding you that this is the only month you have with your family, but at the same time, it tells you that this is also the only chance you get to meet his family members ...

I mean, not the only chance la, but I already let him down this time, who knows how many times are there left for me to let him down ...

Damn sadded la ...
You und my feeling or not ???