爷爷，一路好走。

今天爷爷去世，我才发觉，我连一张合影，一张他的照片都没有。

爷爷为人比较凶，固执，所以我们从小都很害怕跟他说话。。。

可是爷爷还真的满疼我，我记得我说要来印尼读书，他很反对很伤心。他说女孩子不必那么厉害，读医生没前途，而且还要去那么远读，如果我事先和他商量，他一定会反对我。每次我回国，和他见面，他都会眼眶泛红跟我说 要好好照顾自己，爷爷没有几年了。。。

每次我听见这个，我都觉得怎么可能，都好好的，我毕业回来后，我就会好好陪你。我毕业回来，我们就可以多点机会聊天。上次回去看到爷爷身体没有很好，可是我都觉得不会有事的啦，怎么可能。。。不会的。

果然，真的婆婆离开了，现在爷爷也离开了，我都不能回去见他们，我都不能陪他们走到最后。我知道就算我在哪儿也改变不了什么，可是我真的很无奈。为什么？ 为什么会这样？

他们说，不用伤心，因为爷爷最近也病的很严重，所以走了也是个解脱。我真的很希望爷爷真的不会在受苦，那么辛苦给病痛缠着。

爷爷，我希望你现在好好的。

To all soon to be drs out there

Just one thing I need to get out of my mouth,
During the follow up session of patients, why can't you do your job properly and ask how's the patient and take the vital signs yourself instead of copying the former status ? Just to get your job done.

I find this very irresponsible, and still some people say it like its he most normal things to do.

I mean, u want to be a doctor but you don't even care how's the patient doing ?? How is that going to work ...
Empathy guys, empathy ...

I'm 23

At this age,
I  just wanna get married, have kids, make cardboard box castle and dress them as prince and princesses, and bake all day, how sweet life would be, but no, because 4 years ago, I have to choose medicine , and now, I'm not graduated yet ! What in the world !

Final Socca !

A week plus to socca, damn scared right now,
How can they put our socca in the first day,
When we spend most of our time writing journals and waiting for doctors !!!
Where got enough time to prepare!
Yor, damn scared =(

Last socca tho ...
Mixed feelings ...

Btw, socca is an aural test to test your knowledge on what you have learned so far abt the system, and for me, it is Tropical Medicine and Family Medicine. One is all about infection, one is about ... basically everything lol

22/11/2015

今天一起做有意义的事，让我觉得，有你在真好 �� 至少 journal 做了一半，不然不知道要拖到几时。感觉比起别人，我们真的好很多。就是你让我觉得我不像废人。虽然你 basic microsoft words 都不会用，hehe，不过算了啦，知道自己比你懂，也是很开心的。�� 晚安宝贝，今天有爱你多一点点����

Minor Thesis. Journal. Article.

So, all forth year students are required to write this stupid journal and if it is useful for us I would never complain, and if only we are given sufficient time. I mean, I don't know lah, everyone's topic ( and by everyone, I meant only 15% of our faculty students) have all these chio(cool) topics that only few will understand what it really meant and I'm with this stupid quadriceps and hamstring study. But how can I complain right ? I picked it myself lol haha !  

And so, we were asked to do the first three chapters of the minor thesis, and then now they ask us to change everything into a journal. Actually, I don't mind lah, really, BUT ! they make it sound so serious like, no cheating, no plagarism, all your format grammar bla bla bla must be correct, if not your journal wont be published in this althea thing and you can't proceed to the co-assisstant thing. Er.... okay ~~~ LOL and for this thing we had to attend this workshop for 7 FREAKING HOURS ! 

LAME !!!

and then I guess we are slightly lucky, because compared to the local students,they had to like translate everything back into English, if I were in their shoe, if I were to translate my thesis into bahasa Indonesia, and then knowing the risk of not having the journal published, I might just break down and cry first lol. 

And the SOCCA is coming AND THEN WHY FAMILY MEDICINE SO BLURRR THEY SHOULDN'T CHANGE THE EDUCATION SYSTEM FOR US OUT OF A SUDDEN.

(instead of case studying, IDK what are we doing, honestly, from the start of the semester, the reason I go to all perseptoran(tutorials) is to sign attendance and leave, like sitting there, asking myself the very same question," what the hell am i doing here?") 

DAMN BLUR =.=

and then everything is coming, it's like a freakin tsunami, so many things to do, you saw the wave coming from far away, but the only thing you can do is to stand there, waving at the waves,and wait for the waves to hit you, 

Cried for nothing

I don't know why I just cried, like seriously it is so stupid.

How it happens:

Because recently, there is some issue going on in the inhabitants downstairs. its so stupid, its just a change of roommates but its like .... aiyo, i don't know why guys make it look so complicated. And then apparently there is this guy that stops talking to everyone because he is so mad of the issue that he starts to ignore everyone.

So, I don't know why I felt like maybe... just maybe I can make things better. So apparently when he stops talking to everyone, today, I offered him a piece of melon when he walks by. He stares at me and walks off. And then, my boyfriend, sitting next to me, starts laughing and saying that I'm stupid.

I'm not sure it's the humiliation or the disappointment that tears start flowing out. I think it's both. I mean, there is never ever once that people gives me a cold stare and walks away like that ! I mean, why people do that ? And then when I start to calm down, my boyfriend starts scolding, like "Why are you acting like that?" "I told you so !!!!!"

Stupid

JUST TO ALL THE GUYS OUT THERE FYI,

IF U SEE A GIRL CRY, JUST SIT NEXT TO HER AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, OR MAYBE JUST HUG HER AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, NOT START SCOLDING SHITS OK, IT DOESN'T HELP BUT MAKING IT WORSE. THIS IS STUPID.

A piece of advice to the girls :

Don't expect people to treat you the same as you did. Maybe what you did is an act of kindness, but maybe to other people, it's not. So don't be so stupid put yourself out there, so vulnerable, so easily hurt by people. Just protect yourself and that's all.

Don't be so silly thinking maybe you can make things better OK. Sometimes it just doesn't work that way. Don't say I didn't warn you !