Starting of MO - SHIP

 YAY ! Updates 

So, i got transferred back once again to HEBHK on July 2020, 

Continued my final days as HO in surgical, which at first I was really not used to it, because there is little patients only, and not much to do, not as busy as in HSAJB, but it's the familiarity of the wards and people and i felt so happy to work in HEBHK again, like we are used to the system, the way we present to specialist , every small thing that I'm grateful I'm here. Got a good team to work with as well, so as a senior, although the last week is like hell, every single day we have unstable patients collapsing, CPR CPR CPR, seriously, towards the end, my B/L anterior shin is full of bruises ! for when I CPR I climb up the bed, my shin will always be on the railing. Padan muka ! so short mah haha !

Then finally guess where I got for my MO-ship ? Paeds !

ya, who knows that in the end i will choose paeds haha ! But honestly, 2 years of housemanship, my happiest days are in Paeds =) so here we are ...

Working with my ex again in Surgical was seriously hard, I wanna keep it a friendly environment but everything he does i magnify them, every wrong thing, i just get irritated very easily. So, good thing it's only for 1+ months. 

Then you know , recently i met K in the shopping centre one day, with another woman, his previous crush. Funny feeling, upset and angry, angry of myself for caring, but out of no where, one day, this guy don't matter to me anymore. 

Lesson learned: just delete away all the toxic people in your life, they are not worth your time or feeling, you won't lose anything by deleting him. If you don't matter to him, why should he matter to you? Grow up. It's hard but one day when you look back, he's nothing. 

Next, ya, maybe dating is not for me at all. Maybe I'm suitable to like grow old and die alone. I don't know how to trust, to commit in relationships anymore. Colleagues that approach me in the hospital, I really don't mean to lead people onto anything, if you wanna be friends with me, I will be thrilled and welcome, but I cannot bring myself to commit to more than that. 

Previously I was sort of dating a guy that I knew from an app, (why did I use an app is because I'm lonely hahaha). Anyway, it wasn't bad ok,  we were happy at first, he was my type, and supportive, just a little clingy, he is a everything is well planned guy, and on the other hand, I'm more of a spontaneous person, I don't plan anything, I just follow the flow. So, when things got serious, I guess I'm not ready for it after all. So much for being an introvert, i think I'm just an extrovert under an introvert skin haha.

Working with people that approaches you previously is a little awkward, especially when he is your current boss now. When once u meant something, now you are just literally transparent. I don't blame you, really, I don't feel offended as well, I mean, I totally deserve it, but just feeling a little weird. Anyhow, work is work, I know that very well. 

In conclusion, I can't wait to leave this place for good. Things are good but maybe it's time to go home >.< to go back to my harbour. So tired standing alone outside ... 

Almost the end of housemanship

Heyyyyy,
just procastinating from all the studying hahaha
so let's make this blog alive again.

Updates.

So as you all have known, I was assigned for hosuemanship in Kluang for 2 years, and due to the recent COVID Pandemic, my hospital in Kluang has become a Covid centre, hence they are relocating all the housemans to different different hospitals around Johor. So, I've been re-assigned to HSAJB. =)

At first, I was super scared and worried, Kluang has been a real comfort zone for me. Although shit happens , although Kluang is Kluang, although it's far from home, still, people still like me here, I have good collegues and bosses here, staffs are generally nice. So, shifting here is really a big deal for me. Anyhow, to my surprise, things are considerably good.

My new apartment is really cool, I have my own room, with air cond hello hahaha, and i stayed in 24th floor, nice.... not o mentioned fully furnished, and I have 2 great housemates. It's real fun. Plus, in JB, it's a city, they have everything ok. But of course, cost much more la.

Workplace wise, yes, people are nice. But OMG the hospital is quite old to be frank, so hot and stuffy, I'm already sweating standing an hour in the ward.

Anest department here, specialist are nice, they are super helpful and supportive, and teaches you every free moment they have <3.<3, not every place like that okay, MO also super nice la, no seniority what so ever ok, why so different from other postings one hahaha . Learned a lot in a short 3 weeks time. Don't even mind getting extended in this posting because you really learn.

On the other hand, I'm in Surgical posting as the final posting. God. Everyday is like a roller coaster ride. Like when you are not that smart also then people start querying like which poster are you y u so stupid something like that la. ew. Whatever la, pls just let me finish this posting peacefully.

Then the question popped up. Float in Kluang or JB >.< aiyor.... Seriously, I have no reason to go back to Kluang really, that place has nothing I miss of, if in this hospital, of course I'll get to see more, learn more, but then I'll be alone. Although in Kluang, I'll be alone also lah, but at least got my batchmates i guess. In JB, have to start over building connections and some sort. So, in a dilemma here, my heart says 70% JB 30% Kluang hahaha

Sidenote, so fucking annoying i spent so much here hahahhahaha, every week my credit card like few hundered, few hundered. stressssss. XD

Kay, guess next update will be in forever, bye haha

Ehhhh just remembered, relationship wise
still single eh wtf hahahaha
Read back through the posts, we really have gone through a lot. You've recently start asking me out again , ask me to give you another chance, after 1 year.
But my thought is like, no need la, why do we wanna give each other another chance. Doesn't work means doesn't work, plus cheating means ... is it even forgivable ? lol.
Although a little part in me feels extremely guilty for not giving you another chance, after so many years being together maybe yes you deserve a second chance, which made me hate the idea more , because I'm not the one that wronged you but why do I feel like so when I refuse to give you another chance.
Can exes become friends? NO, my answer is NO. Unless you still have hope to be back tgt with him, if not , just delete him out of your life. Because no matter how long it passes, if he is out with another person, there will still be heartbreak, although you don't love him anymore. Sorry, but I'm those that lives on jealousy hahahaha.
Guess that's it.