Please teach me how to make myself feel better for my failure, I mean, not fail, but after much preparation, I know I prepared well, I know I will perform well in other cases, I know I will score, and yet, I got this new case that I wasn't prepared to face and hence couldn't score very well, my friends kept telling me I'm so close to A already hence why does it matter, I really, I'm not that kind of optimist when it comes to marks and grades, I'm that typical kiasu ! Why ah? Why like that ? What did I do wrong ? Bye first honour, Bye 3.5 ~ really WTF ! If there is one thing I learn from medical school, its the ability to curse and get frustrated over stuffs and sometimes hard work isn't everything, luck is also a very crucial aspect.
Maybe I should just blame myself for ... IDK la WTF la stupid la
Maybe I'm just not working hard enough, to the Dr I respect so much, the huge part of my sadness and anger is because as your student, I couldn't make you proud, you teach me so well, and I got a bloody easy case which I simply couldn't perform well because I prepared so hard for the hard cases and simply neglect the simple one, this is stupid, everything is stupid, sigh....
Just FYI, It's my aural exam today and I got Hemorrhoid case, which it was originally together with the Colorectal cancer case, and suddenly today, it came out independently without etiology and OMG I really dont feel like explaining anything any more, just sad ok bye ...
我的心，真的有很多很多的不甘心，真的，
我觉得如果我拿到别人的题目，我会做得更好，
A 肯定是在手上的，
为什么命运要如此作弄我，我看不开，我不甘心！
你可能觉得我太注重于分数，虽然我这次的分数很靠近A，可是A就是A， B就是B，永远是有它的差别的，它永远都是两个世界的人，就算是一分也好，它还是有很大的差别的，
心真的有很多的委屈，我没读书吗？ 我每天睡不够! 那些眼袋，那些豆豆都是白生的我跟你说。
今年遇到一个非常疼我的老师，我觉得我让他失望了，真的，他真的真的很好，他很关心我，很肯教我，就算不是上学时间，我有什么问题都可以找他，现在我竟然没考好，怨天又不是，怨地又不是，怨自己又不是，应为我真的是有准备！我的妈，睡了一个觉，我的心情还是平服不下来，
很多年过后的今天，我可能也忘了有真么一回事，可能也就笑自己为什么那么傻，那么看不开，可是，当下，我真的真的无法说服自己。。。
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