UNPAD Day 73 - SOCCA !

SO today is the so called socca exam...
it is something like an aural test where the cases you study previously,
you have to present it ,mostly about basic science,
so i get this obesity case, which should be very easy to score one !
and i just passed at the boudary line...
what the helll !!!! i don't know what happen...
maybe... maybe my presentation is not smooth enough or it is not in order...

Maybe i was waiting too long , the quarantine time is like 6am-2pm....
and for the whole time i was revising 6 cases again and again,
i can't believe i forgot some important points....
i hate myself, i hate my brain....
y ?! and then everyone was scoring so wonderfully...
and then that makes me hate myself even more...
so useless....

and then this is the only chance that u can pull up your cgpa,
coz other exams are hard to score...
sigh ....

I should just go for a mathematics degree or whatever....
not here studying a medicine degree...
i just wasted my mom's money,
I wasted my two months here scoring this kind of results ...

and then...
i called my mom ( she called me actually =P)
and she said its fine, i don't wanna stress u out...
damn, i really felt so disappointed, why couldn't my memory be as good as the others...
this is just so sad =(

UNPAD Day 72 - EXAM DAY 2

So today was CRP exam....
some kind of exam that i dont get what's the whole point of involving computer =.=
this is super meaningless cause it will end up the same giving us handouts too...

anyway, the interesting part is...
you are under quarantine from 7 to 11....
DOING NOTHING ! they don't even let you study ...

then, during that one hour exam...
you have completely no idea what are you suppose to do...
and whatdoyouknow ! there is 15 minutes left....
this is really super awesome !
haha !
yup, and then, before you knew it, there goes the hour, there goes your paper, there goes your marks....
sweat... haha !

UNPAD Day 67 - afraid

I'm afraid that one day , I'll be like her...
To survive in the same room,
Means I'll either just be a turtle and act deaf, or fight back...

Fighting back means, you have to go more extreme in order to win,
Means all the words you use must be even more stronger,
Means you don't have to care about anyone else feelings...

That is so bad,
I never wanna be someone like that ...

Sigh....

UNPAD Day 66 - ANATOMY !!

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I had never love anatomy so much in my life before !

haha !

OMG, i wanna chop the books into pieces la ... haha ...

so today was lab , and we get to see body parts and organs ~~

first, i wanna mention....

actually the smell of the formalin is not that bad , 

but seriously ur eyes couldnt take it, 

it will start tearing off ur eyes you know ...

much much much worse than onions !

secondly, 

exam is next week ~ this is so cool !!!!!

i meant the opposite of course,

yeah , haha ... 

hv a good day !

UNPAD Day 56 : SHUT UP !!!!!!! >=(

Some people just doesn't know how to keep their mouth shut !
every single time ! what the hell ! if this keeps happening, I might murder one day ! damn stupid...

Every single time ! DOESN'T SHE REALISE THAT I AM NOT HAPPY WITH ALL THIS THINGS !
OR SHE ACTUALLY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ! ATTENTION SEEKING IS THE PRIORITY !!!!

things that is not necessary to mention then just keep your mouth shut la ! this kind of people is like very afraid that the war wouldn't happen ! They must create CHAOS !!!!!!!

stupid ! STUPID !! STUPID !!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get how these people think !

As a roommate, shouldn't you like support your roommate, or like respects people's privacy larh !
who is on the phone, what time they called , who I'm talking to , what i effing do ! WHY MUST U CARE AND GO SPREAD AROUND LIKE YOU ARE DAMN AFRAID NOBODY KNOWS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, people who suicide because of rumours right ? This is all caused by this kind of people you know ! Damn pek chek right now ! you know how i'm feeling ?!

Sometimes she gossips about people,no, not gossiping ! is commenting people in a very unkind way ! I don't give a damn about how people is doing ! why must she comment and must ask people to agree with her !!!!! OMG ! I'm already trying very hard to control myself for not cursing in this post !

oiyo, I dunno if I can take this anymore ! I wanna shift out ! I want my own room !!!!!! damn damn damn stupid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OR, how to talk to her, someone teach me >< damn stupid ! It's not like I can talk also....
ah!!!!!!!!!! i dont know how to explain this condition, right now, i only feel damn pek chek !!!!!!!

UNPAD Day 48 - Guys and Girls II

So, haha , today really got many feelings to express out ><

Even with the guy I very seldom hang out with , also got rumours saying we are together....
(most probably didnt even berduaan before also)
sweat, what kind of place is this?
what kind of freakin place is this >.<

And then there is my friend, lets call him SH, he just rejected a girl yesterday...
I seriously feel so sorry for her...
kesian ><
if its not because rumours start saying that both of them are mended together,
maybe she wont even start thinking that there is a possibility between them...
and hence she wouldn't suddenly confessed when she saw him eating dinner with another girl and she felt the urge to do something...
and she wouldn't kena reject, she is a good girl lorh, kind and sweet.... pretty also mar ...

stupid guys here la ! only like all those "yan leng san choi zheng" one ( translate : beautiful face with a perfect body curve)...

then ... this gave me an inspiration, =P
to never be affected by rumours...
NEVER !
funny lorh, there is a chinese saying " ai qing you xi li, shui ren zhen, shui jiu shu le !"
(translate : in a love game, you will be the loser if you start being serious or if u start to care)

UNPAD Day 48 - Guys and Girls

so what is so big deal about guys and girls ?
different sex cannot become friends is it ?
different sex must be couple ? must love each other is it ?

y ar?
i'm just a little close to a guy named YK...
he has a girlfriend in Malaysia and so ?
It's not like I'm gonna snatch him from his gf or wanna seduce him or wanna become the third party or whatsoever larh ! WE ARE JUST FRIENDS !!!!!!

sometimes people joke about us , i can accept la,
I just take this as a joke.

and then out of a sudden,
my roommate come telling me that I shouldn't stick too close with him la and whatsoever shit...
and then she said even one of her indonesian friend asked her whether I'm together with him or not...

and even YK friend's also keep on reminding him that he still has a girlfriend in Malaysia...

Until this part, I know what you want to say ...
Maybe you take people as friend people don't felt the same way ?
Maybe he really wants to cheat and stuff ....

No lorh ! we are like 19 already okay ...
I know what is right and wrong, so does him...
We freaking know that we are just friends....
Why so serious ?

And now, it's because he was worried that people might say something bad to me,
and his friends start warning him and stuff,

we space ourselves and distant ourselves from each other...
a little sad la, just rumours...
just this kind of people's mouth ,
just people gossiping about us...
we have to distance ourselves...
It's not like we did something wrong also  !!!!!

I dunno man, then there is this girl,
I know she kind-hearted la, she came and talk to me this evening,
she told me "I thought I wanna talked to you about you and YK, did yeewen (my roomate) told you about the stuff?"
then i said yeah, she told me, nothing one lorh ~ and then i walked away, in a kind way la !
MEANS RIGHT...
THEY EVEN TALKED ABOUT THIS AT MY BACK !

really super beh tahan lorh ! hate this freaking much .... 

UNPAD Day 48 - roommate issue

so , yeah , i guess not only me having this issue kut ...
i really desperately wanna move out of this room ...
maybe is my problem la, i don't know how to live with others...

at last, i figured out what is the problem between us ...
its because she is that kind of person who can't wait to show her abilities...
sometimes quite pek chek , like seriously....
but since roomates so must tahan tahan, cannot argue till very geng....

and then her mouth cannot control der wor ...
say ppl sometimes say until very zhin gak (keji)
i dunno le, dont like lo...
u can gossip, but dont say till so nan ting lorh...
>.<

sometimes i also fai si chut seng , just diam diam sit at a side let her finish her talking ...
some more right, when other ppl tell u something because she trusted u ,
u dont go around telling other ppl la ! yo, sometimes, spechless....

but other than that, she is ok la ...
like that lorh ...

A story ...

this teared me up >.< its a loving story ...
read till the end, seriously ~

Married or not you should read this...
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t kn
ow how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words,

 instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried herout on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddyis holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had take nits toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up