in the end, i have already forgotten what's the point of being mad.
Why am I mad at the first place ...
but I just couldn't let it go.
because i remembered how hurt and irritated  i was back then...
and how i know i don't want to go through that feeling everyday.

why can't you understand...
why can't you know what i'm thinking ...

is this the end ?

我们还适合在一起吗？

每当我很想放手的时候， 

突然会想起原来自己还很爱你。。。

原来我不想你走。。。

不是因为怕一个人的生活。。。

虽然真的怕，

可是更怕没有你的生活。 

你还想要我们两个在一起吗？

你还爱我吗？

你有想过我的感受吗？

你懂尊重吗？ 你懂，可是你觉得我不需要。。。

还是你懂，可是觉得我不配拥有？

可是一句爱足够吗？

一句爱， 就可以没有尊严吗？

一句爱， 就可以放弃你曾经想要，可是在他身上得不到的爱情吗？

我们什么时候开始天天吵架的？

是我脾气不好？还是你真的过分了？我不懂。。。 

我真的很不想很不想我的爱情到后来就好像我爸爸妈妈那样。。

我真的不想。。。

小妹妹， 思想成熟一点好吗？

“这世界上，没有浪漫，这世界上不是甜蜜的。。。 “

真的是这样吗？

I'm not hurt anymore

I saw a post today on facebook,
it's about 15 true but untold facts of a medical student ...
one of them is having friends that will help you during your worst...
I mean, it is true, but only happen to a few lucky ones la..
I couldn't complain because I found my boyfriend <3

But to you, I'm really confused,
OMG, what the hell you want ?
If you are not happy with me,
you might as well just say it out,
Why do you have to pretend that you are good friends with me and all ...
But stab me at the back =.=
Just ignore me lah,
not like I care,
I used to care, not anymore....

Immature....

I'm allergic to two-faced people, please stay away from me.
If you don't take me as a friend, fine, go away,
don't act like you like me and all, don't let me think that we are really friends.
It makes me sick.

Happy Birthday bloggie !

I can't believe I had blogged since the age of 16 !
means this blog is 5 years old ady eh !!! haha !

And then when I read back what I had written this few years,
despite of all the memories flooding back, I kind of regret to not write every details of my life out...
I mean, there are sad moments which when I now look back, it seemed so funny,
There were all the drama moments with all my friends and family...

I missed those times =)

Anyway, I shall not do this again.
5 years from now, I'm going to read back all these and laugh at all the dramas I'm going through now
haha !

I wish I can put more attention on my studies =)
I wish I can do better this year, especially this system,
because I  think this is the most related system to my family lol
and I hope I could learn more in this system ...

I wish I can succesfully graduate from this course,
I wish I can be a successful doctor,
I don't have to be like super rich, I just hope that I could afford a comfortable life for my family.
I wish I could really help those patients ...

I hope time flies where I could go back to my own country.

Happy Birthday to me

This year's birthday felt different
well, not sure if this is the way to describe this but ,
I felt like I have gone to another phase in life (cheh~)
hahaha !

no, like... it's different from previous birthdays,
I mean, people who greet you and all, changed...
I missed last time, but i also enjoyed now
so.. i guess this is growing up =)

Well, thanks to everyone who greeted, wished or gave me presents,
thank to you guys who still had me in your mind after so long...
If not, I und that we all hv our busy lives going on ... ;) don't worry,
I'm sure you guys still miss me , hahaha !

every year, i actually anticipated for today to come because it's like an opportunity or chance to talk to people that eventually u stop talking to despite of how close u guys were last time...

even a short conversation is enough, to prove that, ya... this person is still in my life,
I had never lost you ...
especially you, i still hope i didn't lose you despite of the things we've been through but it seems impossible. I guess people can't be greedy =( 

But, to wrap things up,
thank God for what I've gotten today...

Thanks for this wonderful 21 years of life...

and I realise I couldn't do it ...
>.<

Don't blame me for being a bitch from now on

For two years I try to please you,
For two years I try to make everyone around me happy,
although sometimes I can be a little ignorant, but still, I try to make it up to you.

And yet, this is what I get...
You feel uncomfortable with my presence ?
You don't want me in an occasion where you were there ?

I'm writing this is not to remind myself how bad you are or to hold grudge
I'm writing this to remind myself no matter how much you give,
Sometimes you just can't expect people to treat you the same.

I learned my lesson.

I don't know how I will face you after this...
But at least I know I don't have to put such high hopes in our friendship.

Today will be the day our friendship died.
Today will be the day I won't put hope and effort anymore.

Thanks for letting me see this.

If one day you start complainng about my ignorance and my bitchi-ness,
please don't forget, you started it first.